Always something...

Alllllrighty

Well it's Monday and I'm already frustrated, should make out for a good week.

This morning, our secretary came in and out of our office fuming and breathing hard as if she was practicing lamaze techniques, and mentioned something about needing a raise because she's only technically supposed to be our boss's secretary but she's doing work for the whole department. Really? I wanted to say, "get out, you only answer the phone anyway and our department only has like 6 people", but instead I just tried my hardest to fake a smile and pretend for the umpteenth time this year that I was listening and cared. Which by the way has been getting progressively harder lately. And that "passive-agressive forced laugh when you really want to cry" look isn't working for you...find a new style.

Then, this afternoon, while I've been juggling constant phone calls of my own and issues that other people cannot get right no matter how many times we go over it, I just had to spend 15 minutes walking someone through a 5 step process to redirect their computer to the right server, (should take 4 minutes) only to find out that the whole process wasn't necessary at all, they just didn't realize you could click an arrow on the right of a drop down menu to scroll down if you didn't see your name in the menu.

And don't even get me started on my time spent walking someone through writing an email. That was last week. Riveting stuff I tell you.

Also -- another great gem I had forgotten about was the term "monkey survey". Every time people around here want to get a read on something from the population they suggest doing a "monkey survey". Next time that comes up I might just make up an entire survey monkey about chimps and gorilla trivia questions and see what happens

Gems from the past

So here all all my favorite ones from months past...

Searching schools alphabetized by first name: "What was Roosevelt's first name?" Umm, Franklin? "Oh man, you're getting good, how do you know all of these?"

From Microsoft Outlook: "How do you get to Google from here? Do you pay for Google on your phone?"

Using Excel: "I don't believe this formula will be right, I'm going to double check with my calculator" Fast forward 5 min when they don't equal: "This is weird, something is weird here they aren't matching!" Let me explain once more how Excel formulas are always correct...

"How do you figure out a 20% reduction again?"

City - wide email: "Mandatory State Ethnics Exam"

Binder titled "Faculty Senate Meeting Ajenda"

In response to looking for Korean-English translations for vaccines: "Well, was there an attached document? You know how sometimes when you open up a word document all those symbols come up? Maybe that's what she saw."

"We need to find someone for the Tobacco Sensation program" (I believe the word you were looking for is cessation)

1st grader son: "Mom, what is a verb?"
Coworker mother: "What? I don't know. Didn't your teacher tell you?"

Let's get this party started

Welcome! So this is my first attempt at starting a blog, but honestly I've been talking about it for so long I needed to just bite the bullet because the things I overhear at work are just too much for only me to enjoy. So this will basically be a forum for me to document ridiculous things that my coworkers have said and/or done and maybe some gripes in between. All in good jest though I promise, no one wants to read Debbie Downer's blog posts.